We have information that M.I.B's (Men In Black), disguised as tourists, attend UFO conferences insinuating themselves silently and almost invisibly amongst the gathering crowds of believers! Our sources say that several were present at the 1998 St. Paul, Alberta UFO Conference! But sad to say only a few have visited our web site so far. (We are kind of hurt by this blatant lack of attention by the way.)

Because cigarette butts have been found scattered all over UFO conference floors and Krycheck has been spotted twice (by somewhat reliable sources) we at JETIU Company thought MIBs and their agencies should know this web site are a good place for them to: attempt to undermine credible witness accounts of U.F.O activity & information, and to find a Soul Mate - (*note please: we at JETIU co. have never really met a MIB or WIB who has a soul mate, but we are willing to do whatever it takes to help out in this regard!)

What are MIBs?
DEPENDING on what their agency's agenda is, MIBs are people too. They have a job to do and they are getting paid really big bucks and benefits for it. So, don't be too hard on them. Now, of course we won't hear about most of the MIB activity that is rumored to be going on. These guys have tough jobs like investigating extraterrestrial species who perform mutilations on cows and elk, human kidnappings and anal probes without first giving valium, etc.

Our sources tell us that MIBs are mostly of earth origin, employed by any one of several world "authorities" who really know how to kick collective butt and get away with it. However, given the spiritual nature of this web site, we would like to point out that no one should lump all MIBs together as "bad" or control freaks. It just isn't fair just because some of them are frighteningly domineering and violent. So, let's all do our best not to stereotype these highly paid professional killing machines licensed to invade our privacy, let's work toward world unity and tolerance ... . Ok?

Through our semi-legitimate sources we understand that St. Paul, Alberta is the only (or is that first?) town in North America to have a U.F.O landing pad. St. Paul also has a "mutilation hotline" which is manned by credible capable people simply trying to "get to the bottom of all this." In other words, St. Paul is a good source of U.F.O and cattle mutilation information.

It is also understood that if you are old enough to drink orange juice, you are old enough to check out the landing pad on Wednesday nights. (More sightings are reported on Wednesday nights than any other night of the week. We believe that Thursday is a slow night for UFO sightings and/or are never reported on Thursdays because everyone is watching E.R.). If St. Paul puts on another U.F.O conference, M.I.B.s from different agencies will be there, and so will we! Join our team of MIB investigators. It doesn't pay much and the benefits suck, but it's better than Monday night TV.

What to Do
-Shake his/her hand ! They are representatives from agencies who KNOW UFOs are real and work hands-on with alien radio-active technology! Ask for an autograph for the kiddies.

-Try to talk to them alone. Maybe take them out for a coffee?

-Find out where they are from, who specifically they work for, etc.

-Ask why their secret agencies abduct and/or recruit UFO conference speakers.

-If the MIB seems to be witholding information or gets a shifty look in their eye, threaten them by telling them you will report their actions to their superior officer. Try to do this with a voice of authority as if you personally know their boss.

-After you have asked a few questions, the MIB will suspect you are psychic and will invite you to his car. This is called an invitation to interrogation. Invitations are not given often, consider yourself one of the chosen and agree to accompany the MIB.

-If you are not psychic-- or suspect that you are not, but have no actual proof-- know that most "non psychic" people can pick up pseudo-psychic "impressions" and can actually work with "gut feelings". Therefore, if you think you are not psychic try your best to wring every drop of mental stuff you can from the MIB interrogating you. Stick to your convictions and go with your instinct.

-Our sources tell us that a lot of psychics who aren't specifically trained in telepathy can actually identify at least some MIB.'s like crazy! They say the MIBs may as well be walking around with fluorescent signs over their heads! (It is quite remarkable how MUCH their heads stick out!)

- Remember, write down any questions they ask you. They love it when you make a display of blowing their cover. Give your notes to any of the UFO conference organizers manning the coffee booths. These conference officials are educated above and beyond the technical nightmares associated with making hot chocolate or rice krispie squares. Please try to accompany your notes with photographs of each MIB you chat with (for future conference identification purposes). MIBs LOVE to see their pictures on the local pub's "wall of fame". Please note: If the conference official (disguised as a coffee guy or gal) refuses to accept your notes and pictures, be persistent but not overly aggressive. Persistance will force the conference guy/gal to respect you.

-A special note to JETIU Company MIB Investigative professionals and/or other inexperienced UFO Conference Organizers: It is common in the UFO conference business to notice the staff experiencing a bit of burnout or caffeine-jitters thinly disguised as paranoia, so don't be alarmed as it is just a normal work-related hazard easily minimized with St. John's Wort and plenty of Percocet or Percodan dropped into their herbal tea at lunch break; if you look in your handy insurance booklet you will see these products are covered by your organization's standard package.

-Yes, we know….everybody loves a scrapbook! So if you attend a UFO conference take lots of pictures of the crowd. The conspiracy theorists also love their pictures taken-- particularly if you catch them writing in their little notebooks covered in tinfoil! In fact, go ahead and follow them to their car and take pictures of their license plate. Don't buy into popular thought and consider this to be mean-spirited to tease them this way. You'd actually be doing them a favor! The Conspiracy Theorist is a lonely creature, their loved ones don't or won't feed their psychological phobia, so why shouldn't you? -So far, the M.I.B activities reported at the 1998 St. Paul, Alberta, Canada UFO conference have not caused any problems (that we know of) other that the fact that they did annoy Suzanne Horner a little. Suzanne was a speaker at this event and she met a few MIBs but to tell the truth, was pressed for time (hair salon appointment) so she was unable to take any mental notes. Or if she did, she forgot them. So, if you personally have problems with any individuals you think are MIB's, don't just take pictures or write down the details, add to your experience by dropping Suzanne a line at suzanneh@kimberleedawn.com and she will invite them out for a coffee. (Suzanne loves to go out for coffee).

What will you get by becoming a JETIU Company MIB Investigator?
Now, here's a real treat: if you can actually verify a MIB or Conspiracy Theorist (this verification may come from another person you think you know) at the next UFO conference you attend, through your photographs, you will be given three "backstage passes" to the next UFO on Earth Encounter said to be taking place in the northern hemisphere Aug. 12, 2085! At the end of the conference, ten children (who are somehow guaranteed to be of ET/human hybrid blood-type) will randomly draw a picture for this great "backstage pass giveaway" event! There will be no need to include your name and phone number on your contest entry, the MIBs know who you are and will deliver the backstage passes personally--right to your home's back door.

Yes, it's true! Imagine, you and a few close friends, side by side, with a few MIBs, meeting and greeting a few little gray aliens and their travelling companions or pets! We hope to see you there! Good luck.